As originally published in Liberator Magazine:
http://weblog.liberatormagazine.com/2011/04/lifes-pure-energy-was-always-in-me-as.html
Excerpts:
Free.
“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – Lewis Carroll
Free.
Had I come to believe it impossible, to truly be free?
One morning, I woke up with the strangest feeling that I was no longer free. I wasn’t sure how it happened, if I had ever been free or for how long I had felt imprisoned. Not that it mattered. One moment was too long, time enough. If I had ever been free I had known it only briefly enough to realize that now, I was not.
Since the day I tore open the envelope that delivered my passport, I carried it with me always. “Just in case”, I would say. Just in case I was called to travel across the seas at a second’s notice. Just in case I needed to film the location of my travel series’ latest exotic episode. I’m just a dreamer.
On December 20th, 2010 I left cozy cul de sac townhouse, tv, radio, blackberry, bills, work, Christmas and my kids. I scheduled my re-entry, December 29, 2010.
At the time of this writing, I’ve been back for 6 days. Something I can’t see lingers with me. Sweeter than jetlag’s nauseating sickness, I can’t shake the feeling that the collected snapshot picture show I called ‘life’ as seen from the HOV lane or Jack Horner’s cubicle corner is a surrogate, a pixilated facsimile, a cheap exchange for the gluttonous feast that always waits, just outside the limits of comfort and plumb numb.
This is me, raising the stakes. 9 days, 3 countries. Destination: Marrakech, Morocco.
In this edition, Funny Money Travels tells you the story of how a girl from upstate New York finds Pleasure Experienced by Accepting all Creation as it Exists…PEACE, camel surfing through the Sahara desert, under a spilled glass of milky way galaxy.
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This is where I mark the transition between states, the trance-like meditation that crosses dimensions and meshes the tiny machine world with the more subtle place between your foot and the ground. I sat there for a while, watching the fire dance. Being present. Looking around as the fire lit everyone’s face in bursts of magic. In that moment, I was forever. Even thinking about it now, far removed from the desert floor now sitting in an office chair poised in front of my laptop – I can still hear the quiet murmuring of my trekmates conversations around the fire, I can feel the ice cold sand beneath me and I can distinctly remember trying with great effort to hold on to that night, with as much success as a person would hold on to a star or a comet.
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Enjoy!
